Holidays and Stress

The Holidays are upon us, which means parties and social gatherings with friends, family and co-workers. The season of giving and receiving, baking and cooking, eating and drinking. A season of love and celebration.

However some of us start to feel a bit more stressed, anxious and overwhelmed this time of year. Some of us are already busy adding social events to the calendar while others are creating Christmas card lists and those year-in-review letters. 

For me, even as I'm writing this, I can feel my body begin to tense up, and my mind begins to race with thoughts of everything I need to do in the coming months. Ahh, stress, anxiety and overwhelm, welcome back my old friends. 

Learn more about the Donation Based Online Classes.

Is it just me, or do you get a little anxious and stressed this time of year too?

How many of you have a story running on repeat, that says; will you be enough? Will you be interesting or funny enough at social gatherings? Will you be thoughtful enough, do enough, be enough or give enough? Will you smile, talk or laugh enough? Will you be kind enough, happy enough or sweet enough? And that’s just the friends and co-worker events, You still have all the family gatherings to look forward to. How many of you are filled with dread and anxiety when it comes to spending time with your family or extended family? 

Ugh! It’s enough to make me want to curl up in a ball and hibernate til January 15th. Literally this is not my time of year.

If you can already feel the signs of stress, anxiety and overwhelm beginning to build in your body, you are not alone. Many people struggle with stress and anxiety during the holiday season.

But what if I told you it’s all in your head? Literally all in your head. 

And no I'm not making light of the situation, I’m simply pointing out that there is a reason we feel this way. The holidays can be filled with emotional memories and triggers that the brain then uses to decide how to protect you and prepare you for fight, flight or freeze mode.

Your brain is constantly assessing and adjusting and preparing to take action to protect you. Sometimes so much so that it is flooding our thoughts with negative and positive feelings and emotions. For some, this process comes and goes with little to no impact. And for others, like me, it can trigger thoughts and feelings of anxiety, anger, isolation, overwhelm or depression. It can almost feel like an out of body experience. The good news is, these are all normal responses. We are not crazy. We are very normal.

What, if anything, can we do to help ourselves?

We can begin to understand and become aware of the fact that these responses or reactions are automatic and quite natural. The brain is activating the sympathetic nervous system to prepare us for a fight, flight or freeze response based on our previous experiences. Once we know and understand what is happening and why it is happening, we can begin the process of helping ourselves return to a parasympathetic state. A state of mindfulness. A state of presence.

This process is called self-regulation which is a fancy way of saying bringing one’s mind and body back together in the present moment. We can learn to do this by using our senses and our breath to help calm the body and the mind. 

Quick caveat; going from a sympathetic state to a parasympathetic state is not something that can be achieved quickly, it is not a light switch that can be turned on and off. That being said, once you are aware of what is happening and the fact that it is a natural response/reaction, you can then begin to identify how you’re feeling when you are triggered. Maybe you’ll begin to notice where it shows up in your body and then you can get curious about why it’s there. 

How do you do that?

First and foremost you need to feel safe, so finding a space or place or person you feel safe in or with is important. Safety is the first step to self-regulation, grounding and centering the body and mind. Co-regulation and self-regulation can be very helpful when creating a sense of safety within yourself and your space. Remember, this practice is about helping the mind and body come back together in the present moment.

I love the analogy of Bruce Banner and The Hulk, which I learned about while taking the Certified Trauma Support Specialist course from the Arizona Trauma Institute. Bruce Banner represents the Parasympathetic state, calm, cool, collected and with the thinking brain activated he is intelligent and capable of communicating and making rational decisions. And yet once Bruce is triggered, and without being able to control himself, he becomes The Hulk, angry, stressed, scared, overwhelmed and, with the thinking brain offline, he is unable to communicate or think rationally. Again, all normal responses when in a sympathetic “stressed” state. 

How does he come back to Bruce Banner? Well he either removes himself from the triggering event, person or place, finding a safe place to give his mind an opportunity to come back online (self-regulation), or his girlfriend, someone he feels safe with, someone he trusts, someone who loves him, helps to calm him and bring his mind and body back to the present moment (co-regulation).

So how does one self-regulate?

Self-regulation is done by using techniques like orientation, grounding, centering, breathwork and our senses to bring our mind and body back together in the present moment. 

These techniques can be done many different ways, which means there is something for everyone. We don’t all react the same way, so there is no one size fits all solution. It’s about finding what works best for you.

There are a few things you can do to build and create a more resilient body and mind. Mindfulness and meditation is a wonderful way to bring yourself back to the present moment. Yoga is another wonderful way to connect body and mind. There are also many different ways to center yourself and become grounded. Breathwork in combination with these techniques can further help to bring the body and mind back together in the present moment.

Starting in January 2022, I will be offering TRY Method yoga classes and memberships that will include weekly meditations, affirmations and journal prompts. The TRY Method is designed to help you self-regulate, and build resilience while learning to ground and center your mind and body. 

There is no need to have previous yoga experience to participate and benefit from this practice. The TRY Method was created with everyone and every body type in mind. It has been used to help Veterans, amputees, children and adults, literally all ages can participate. It is your yoga, your way.

Learn more about the FREE (Donation Based) December Yoga Classes I will be offering.