How To Manage Anxiety
We all have anxiety and it’s there to keep us safe. Think of it as the body's smoke alarm; when you are in danger, say too close to the edge of a cliff, it will tell you to take a step back.
So what is anxiety and what are some of the symptoms.
Anxiety can be overwhelming negative thoughts. It can also come in a physical way, like stomach aches or headaches, trembling or shaking. Not wanting to go into social settings, avoiding. It really depends on what triggers your anxiety. And that is why it’s important to listen to your body when something doesn’t feel right. What is your body trying to tell you?
Are there different types of anxiety?
Yes, there are different anxiety disorders.
Generalized anxiety: Is the most common. It’s that overwhelming, anxious, negative feeling.
Social Anxiety: Where you have anxiety about public speaking, parties or social settings.
Panic Disorder: Where you get physical symptoms. It may feel like you are having a heart attack or can’t breathe.
All of the phobias fall under the anxiety umbrella.
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder also falls under the anxiety umbrella.
What is the difference between an Anxiety attack and a Panic attack?
Anxiety attack is when we are in our head. We are hyper vigilant, as if something is wrong but we don’t know what it is. It’s very overwhelming and it's negative in nature. It is usually brought on by some type of trigger.
Panic attack is always physical in nature. It can come out of the blue and it hits us quickly. We feel chest pains, or it can feel like we can’t breathe.
Anxiety symptoms can be different for each of us. The most common and the one we are referring to today is generalized anxiety.
Most of us deal with work stress and relationship stress which build upon each other and can become overwhelming. As human beings we like to be in “control” and because at work and in our relationships it involves other humans, and we can’t control what they think or what they will say. And that can be very anxiety provoking.
We have to ask ourselves, what do I have control over? What can I really control?
What we can control is how we show up and how we react to something. When it comes to others, what we can do is support them, guide them and examine what we have control over to calm our nerves and anxiety.
How can we go about processing our anxiety?
We want to move through it, we don’t want to run from it. Our initial response is to avoid or take flight or distract ourselves when we feel overwhelmed or uncomfortable. Taking flight, distracting or ignoring may seem like a good idea at the moment, but it will come back to you and most likely you will become more anxious. It may also come back in different forms like you feel sick or you get a headache. So don’t avoid it.
What you can do is get curious. Adopting a curiosity mindset when you have anxiety is going to be pivotal in making changes.
Ask yourself:
What’s up?
What is going on?
Is what I’m feeling real?
Identify that it’s your anxiety, it’s not you. Recognize that you are feeling anxious and ask yourself “ What is this really about?”
Our feelings are not factual, but they are clues that we might be needing something. Maybe we are overworking ourselves and need to take a step back. Maybe we need some connection or maybe we need some space from the people we are connecting with. It’s okay to take a step back and ask what’s going on and identify that this is anxiety. And then we can challenge it. Is this story I’m running in my thoughts true?
Usually when we stop and get curious and ask questions we discover that it’s just a negative thought coming in. And then we can focus on reframing it in a more realistic way.
Ex: Boss says we need to meet at 2pm. Your mind begins to race with negative thoughts. When you notice these thoughts you can ask questions and reframe like this; “I'm doing my best.” “I’ve done everything asked of me and I’m working really hard.” It takes it from a negative thought to a more rational thought.
Another pivotal piece is the acceptance piece, which is not always easy. When we accept that this is the situation, it goes back to what we can control. We might not like what's happening at the moment, but we can focus on what we can control. This helps us get in front of it, so the anxiety isn’t the leader. It’s about retraining your brain not to listen to the negativity and following through with a more rational thought.
We have our core beliefs, these things that happened to us a long time ago and we’ve held on to them. Let’s say you had a bad experience in childhood with a friend, it could cause you to question your friendships in adulthood. So, it’s about retraining our brains so they don't always default to that negative experience. Remember the brain is using past experiences to protect us, because that is its job, to protect us. When we retrain our brains it’s helping to change the negative experience to a more positive experience.
When we get curious and start asking questions we begin to build a relationship with ourselves and start to trust ourselves. We begin to realize my body is feeling {insert feeling}, I must need {insert need}. It’s about learning how to trust yourself and your needs, and being okay with “Hey I need this and that’s okay for me.”
What practices can we implement to help ourselves?
Therapist Amber Benziger is a big fan of grounding techniques, which is coming back into ourselves, back into our bodies. Because when we are in a state of panic or anxiety, we are all over the place. So getting yourself out of the negative thought means you can begin to question it.
Try one of these: Because then you will begin to focus on the sensation and not the thought. Which will allow you to stop and question and have more control.
Changing your scenery - if you are inside go outside
Use temperature differences - run cold water on your hands or grab an ice cube and rub it on your skin.
Sour candies or hot candies
Smell things - essential oils are great for this
Listen to music - Amber has created a playlist for every mood. Because music can invigorate our mood.
Grounding exercise PDF - Helps bring you back to yourself.
All of this is about grounding ourselves and bringing us back into our body, so we can begin to challenge our thinking. Then we can reframe the negative thought into something more realistic.
Amber says not to use these techniques and then avoid your thoughts. (they will come back) It’s about checking back in with ourselves and getting curious.
Some foods can trigger anxiety as well. Everyone is different, so if there was a time when something traumatic happened around a certain food, it could trigger thoughts about what happened in that moment. In general caffeine is a huge trigger. Because it causes all of those physical symptoms that anxiety can cause. So you can help decrease your anxiety by cutting back your caffeine intake.
There are 40+ million people that have been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. And think of all the people who have never been diagnosed that are struggling with anxiety.
So if you struggle with anxiety, you are not alone. You can manage it even though it may not feel like it sometimes.
Resources:
Amber Benziger created the Anxiety Lab to offer educational insight with a coaching aspect to help women gain skills and knowledge on how to manage anxiety. https://www.theanxietylab.com/waitlist
