Do you have a healthy relationship with yourself?

It’s a heavy question I know. 

A question most of us don’t like to think about or maybe it’s just that we spend very little time thinking about. Why do you think that is? When it is clearly the most important relationship we will ever have. 

Brene Brown recently said, “Our connection with other people is only as solid and deep as our connection with ourselves. In order for me to be connected to you, I have to know who I am. I have to be connected to myself.” She went on to say, “I think what we end up doing is, we end up desperately searching for connection with other people, when we have no idea who we are.”

I guess the question becomes, “Who Am I?” 

Can you honestly say that you know who you are? I don’t know how to answer that question, because I don’t really understand what it means. 

What does that question even mean? 

If you’re like me, the first thing that comes to mind is: I am a mother, daughter, sister, friend, hiker, nature lover, companion, podcaster… etc. But is that what the question is really about? Or is that just who we think we are?

Maybe the question we should be asking ourselves is: “What is important to me?” 

The team at Positive Psychology came up with a creative and playful way to help us discover what is most important to us. They recommend asking yourself: “If I got a tattoo or a piece of artwork that would serve as a reminder of what I would like my life to be like, what would it be and why?”

You're looking for the underlying theme in the, “what would it be and why” question. Example: you choose a picture/tattoo of the sun as a reminder to stay positive. Your value or theme would be positivity. Does this theme say something about what you value in life, and if so, what?

Then, ask yourself if you are living in line with that value/theme. And then, If necessary, what small step(s) can you take to start living in better alignment with this value/theme.

Peace of mind comes when your life is in harmony with principles and values, and in no other way.  ~ Stephen Covey

The better you understand what is important to you, the better you will understand the choices you make and why you make them. You might even consider it the first step to building a healthier relationship with yourself.